Aren't you glad your nose is normally sized?
by Afternoon Delight
Summary: MWPP, pranks, Snape, and dancing on the Slytherin table. Doesn't get better than this.


Remus watched Sirius and James teach Peter the steps for the 36th time.  
  
"Come on guys," he called. "You know we shouldn't even be doing this in the first place."  
  
"Stop being such a spoilsport -- even Peter wants to do it, and you know how worried he gets about this stuff", argued Sirius.  
  
"And besides," he added, slinging an arm about Remus's shoulders, "Peter needed to learn this. He was hopeless before."  
  
Indeed Peter was hopeless, Remus thought to himself, amused.  
  
James groaned as Peter hit him again.  
  
"Pete, I know you're nervous, but I promise, we won't hurt you," he cajoled. "Just relax."  
  
"Sorry," Peter aploigized, embarrassed, "dancing just isnt my thing!"  
  
"We know Peter," Remus said soothingly. "That's why James and Sirius are teaching you, so it can become your 'thing'"  
  
"Okay," Sirius sighed,"Lets just get back to work."  
  
Remus waved his wand for the umpteenth time, starting the music.  
  
"Oh aren't you glad (you glad you glad) your nose is normally sized? Wouldnt you be mad (be mad be mad) if greasey hair fell in front of your eyes? "  
  
"And one-two-three, one-two-three-- CONCENTRATE, Peter"  
  
"I am!" Peter snapped.  
  
Remus laughed, in spite of himself.  
  
Sure a song and dance to get revenge on Snape in front of the whole school was cruel... but he had to admit, it was funny.  
  
Especially since they had taken so much effort and time to plan this prank. Snape deserved it, though, after his latest little incident with Sirius.  
  
"So Black, how's the family? I heard you were so dissatisfactory to them, they had to kick you out, and now you're living with the mudblood loving Potters."  
  
"Oh Snape, you know, it really just hurts my heart to hear your weak insults. You know how I so crave you approval."  
  
"If that was so, Black, you would have had a shattered heart far before this. It's a pity what we desire is not reality."  
  
"Okay, why don't we skip the small talk and go straight to the punch line," he said, hurling his fist at Snape's face.  
  
"BLACK! SNAPE! What are you doing?!" yelled Apollyon Pringle, the caretaker, as he stormed down the hallway.  
  
The crowd that had slowly gathered parted, letting Pringle make his way to the misbehaving boys.  
  
"Black, Snape, detentions and 20 points off for fighting in the corriders. An additional 10 points you for punching Mr. Snape, Mr. Black. You have gotten in trouble before, and I want this to be the end of it, understand?"  
  
"I understand", said Sirius, glaring at Snape.  
  
"Understood." Snape spat, glaring murderously.  
  
"Excellent, boys." Pringle said as he turned and walked away.  
  
"Nice one, Snivellus," Sirius said, "You got our House points taken away, and--ew--my hand's all greasy."  
  
"It was your own insufficient intelleligence that caused your House points taken away." Snape proclaimed, sending his fist flying into Sirius's eye.  
  
Sirius had been angry, Hell, he had been livid, but he didn't want to physically hurt Snape -- he wanted revenge that people would remember, not just another fist fight, something BIG.  
  
"Peter, you have to get this down if we're going to execute this prank at dinner." James stated.  
  
The song, the dance, everything had been perfectly planned so that Snape would be embarrassed in a way he would never forget. They all couldn't wait to see Snape's moritfied face as all of them danced along the Slytherin table to the music they had composed. As they walked into the great hall that night, they felt like every eye was on them. They had never been this nervous about a prank before, but then again, none of them had been so monumental as this. They ate quickly, partly because they didnt have much time, and partly because of nerves.  
  
"This is it," James whispered. "No last inhibitions, no regrets."  
  
"Okay," Sirius murmured, "3, 2, 1, GO!"  
  
The candles in the Great Hall extiguished, leaving the populace in darkness and confusion.  
  
"Whats going on?"  
  
"Who turned off the lights?"  
  
"I think I've suddenly gone blind!"  
  
The Great Hall was in an uproar, when suddenly, two twin lights came on at either end of the Slytherin table and music started playing.  
  
"Oh aren't you glad (you glad you glad) your nose is normally sized? Wouldnt you be mad (be mad be mad) if greasy hair fell in front of your eyes?"  
  
James and Peter were waltzing along the left end of the table, heading towards Snape, while Remus and Sirius closed in on him from the other side. From the other side of the room, James swore he heard Dumbledore chuckling. In groups, the students of the other three houses started laughing, nudging their friends and pointing to the spectacle on the Slytherin table. Now all four bys were right in front of Snape, doing a dance that mimicked the way he way he walked, or rather stalked, and acted. The music crecsendoed and ended, and the lights came back on, revealing the boys in a bow.  
  
"While these boys' dance has provided dinner entertainment, it was performed with malicious intent towards another classmate, and I am forced to deduct 40 points from Gryffindor. Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Pettigrew, one week's detention." Dumbledore announced.  
  
"Enjoy the rest of your dinner," he said, clapping his hands and sitting down. At once, the knocked over silverware and food were righted.  
  
"A week of detention..." Peter complained.  
  
"It was worth it, Pete," exclaimed Sirius. "This will be Snivellus's most embarrassing moment!"  
  
"Well, until next week," he added. "Wait till you hear what I have planned..." 


End file.
